O.M.G!!! Ebu Angalia Ndoto Hizi za Manchester United!

Thomas Muller! To Manchester United! Get in the sea, the Daily Star, you are drunk.

OR ARE YOU? Everyone's favourite redtop of last resort is reporting that United are ready to step up their pursuit of Muller in a move that would make life worth living again. Or at least make next season's Premier League a whole lot more interesting after last year's dullfest.

Because of Robin Van Persie's imminent move to Fenerbahce and the exit of half-remembered anxiety dream Radamel Falcao to Chelsea, United are looking a bit light on players who do the whole goal thing.

Thomas Muller, off of the World Cup, might be the bright young German to solve all that. United chief executive Ewar Woowar, who tragically lost his "D"s last week, is aware that Bayern Munich would be reluctant to sell a man who's as good at football as Muller.

Woowar, bless 'im, is still confident a deal can be done and is excitedly preparing a £60m bid. We will just see about that. We suspect it'll need several bells and ideally a whistle or two attached to cause more than a wry rise of the eyebrow from Pep Guardiola's stylist.

For what it's worth, The Sun says that Van Persie feels as if he has been "betrayed" by Manchester United and Louis Van Gaal which some might say is a form of karmic... in fact, let's just leave this picture here and be done with it:

Our favourite German export behind Dustin Brown, Thomas Muller and the Kompakt label is of course Bild. It is saying that United have now formalised their interest in Bastian Schweinsteiger.

A bid has been made, and United are prepared to pay the midfielder £7m for a couple of years which, in any normal world, would be more than enough.

Indeed even in football it might be. Schweinsteiger is reportedly flattered by United's interest.





Source: The Telegraph